Tomato Soup

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Sunday, December 28, 2003

I feel nauseous.
I think that stupid inner ear imbalance thing is back. Grrrrr...and I was all set to go to the sim tonight, too. :P
Sarah - 8:34 PM - 0 comment(s)

Saturday, December 27, 2003

I finished the last Xanth book.
It's the last one of the first "trilogy". Finally. (Hehehe. He's been joking about that for years, now.) Not that they're done, of course, although I have a hard time imagining it really coming to another whole "trilogy" of this sort.

The trouble is that the stories, such as they are, are starting to be absorbed into the mass of generally self-indulgent insanity. I'm as big a fan of nonsense as anyone, but I think the battle is coming to a turning point and pretty soon you're going to have to look for the plot with a magnifying glass.

Despite the fact that we went to Barnes & Noble and I even got a physics study book (or maybe because of the latter), I am suffering from haven't-done-anything-all-day syndrome. I need to do something, and I am running out of time. Salli has been most unhelpful with regards to entertainment lately—I can't even get her out of bed or off the computer long enough to complain about there not being anything on TV.
Sarah - 10:12 PM - 0 comment(s)

Friday, December 26, 2003

I did it!
There were only a couple of mishaps that I had to fix along the way, too, and I had to adjust the loom a bit. (It's not real weaving unless you spend half your time fixing things.)

Well, okay, so I wasn't all that careful, so there are some tension issues. (And also I don't really know what I'm doing.) But it works, more or less. I keep tweaking it and fixing little things where I can. I adjusted one of the shafts that was a bit low, and it seems to weave better now. (I'll have to get help adjusting the shafts so that the yarn passes straight through instead of dipping down when I go back to school.) I warped something all on my own, and it is functional!

I don't know how to define a "harness" without using weaving terminology. You know how you push levers or press foot pedals to make different parts of the warp move up so you can weave the weft yarn in and out? The "harness" or "shaft" lets you move a whole bunch of threads at once. You've got to have at least two to weave (you know, the standard weave: over one, under one, over one, under one). Mine has four. Depending on how I thread it, I can get different patterns. (Of course, I only know one.)

I think mine is really a table loom on a stand. It's a little loom (thank God!), but it could handle a really wide scarf (I know because it's very like the one I made my scarf on). I haven't any intention of warping anything nearly that wide in the immediate future (it could take days).

Anyone reading my blog over the next few weeks is liable to either pick up a lot of weaving terminology or else be perpetually confused.
Sarah - 12:07 AM - 0 comment(s)

Thursday, December 25, 2003

Merry Christmas!!!
I don't say "Happy Holidays". That doesn't mean anything (except "I am trying to be politically correct"). When I say "Merry Christmas" to someone, I am saying "Christmas is special to me, and it will be more special if I know that you are happy, too, because you are important to me as well".

I am wearing my new fuzzy red pajamas (I think I shall cut a slit in the pants and sew a pocket into them, and then they shall be perfect in every way). Yay! We had some of the coffee Kat sent us with breakfast (I had two cups). We are having a nice gentleman from church over for Christmas dinner—my mom put together a stocking for him, hehe. That will be so much fun! I bet he hasn't had a Christmas stocking in years! (Of course, in light of this fact, I should really be getting dressed.)

They got me a four-harness loom. A real loom. A loom. *ahem* Now I need to get some tacky cheap yarn so I can see if I can figure out how to warp the thing. (By the way, this must have been some project, getting the thing. How many of you knew? Because it seems like everyone else did. :P) This must be their notion of making a real weaver out of me. I did find instructions that may or may not be helpful. Warping a loom is quite a project and can take a very, very long time.

Salli got her digital camera which I was co-opted to help pick out earlier this week. It is a darn good camera. (Mir, you may have to help her figure out how to use it. I figure you're probably better at photography than she is. ;) They had a sample photo at the shop that was just incredible—it's got a real optical zoom and all the bells and whistles you could possibly want. I had to show her how to turn it on, hehe. ;)

So, aside from warping the loom (!!!) and knitting a hat for a co-worker of our mother's and sewing a pocket into my pajamas, I also need to make a little cloak for the Aragorn action figure that Salli got me. (Mwahahaha!) He has his sword, so if I make a little Elvish cloak I can cover up his armor and pretend it's the scene in Two Towers where he meets Éomer (a brilliant scene that is marred in the movie because he does not have Andúril to wave about). I also have an Éowyn action figure and a little Ringwraith—the sheer dorkiness is incredible. Hmmm...maybe I could get Kat's mother to help me. (She would probably be tremendously amused. By the way, Kat, I gave her a hug last night for you. She seemed to be having a good time with the bells and all and she is very proud of your cooking.)
Sarah - 12:37 PM - 0 comment(s)

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

For Salli...
...since you cannot play real Sims, you can at least play* Sarah's Mini-Sims, which is less fun but more sarcastic and also takes up less space on your system.

*Where "play" is defined as "oooh and ahhh over briefly".
Sarah - 9:05 PM - 0 comment(s)

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

'Merry Christmas'
I say that all the time when I am giving something to someone (whether I am turning in a lab notebook or throwing food at Salli or whatever). The trouble is, I can't say it around this time of year, because people think that I actually mean "Merry Christmas" and it isn't amusing or unexpected at all.

::sigh::
Sarah - 10:49 PM - 0 comment(s)

Sunday, December 21, 2003

Sarah - 12:04 AM - 0 comment(s)

Saturday, December 20, 2003

The movie-going etiquette rant.

I said I was going to do this. It may have to appear in parts, though.

Talking in the theater.
It is perfectly okay to talk before the previews start. Once they start, though, you had better shut up. You are allowed to comment in between previews, but not during them, unless there is extreme provocation.

Once the movie starts, you keep your mouth closed unless you have a darned good reason. If you must comment (and sometimes one really must), you should do so quietly, so that only the person next to you can hear what you are saying (and only barely).

Short shrieks of alarm are okay, as long as the scene is genuinely scary. If you find yourself screaming more than that, you should have waited for the video. It is okay to applaud briefly at appropriate moments, as long as you are not drowning out the dialogue.

Cell phones and pagers do not bear mentioning.

Sitting in your seat.
You can put up your feet on the chair in front of you if you really want to. I don't care.

Slouching is good, because that means the people behind you can see better, but if they can't see over your head when you are sitting up straight, they should be sitting somewhere else.

Unless the theater is really, really full, you should not complain about the height of the person sitting in front of you. You can always sit somewhere else.

Popcorn and drinks.
If you get popcorn, you have to at least get water, because they put way too much salt in that stuff, and also they don't know how to put on "a little" butter, even though they always tell you they can.

But don't get something to drink if the movie lasts longer than about an hour and a half, and do not get your free refill before watching a three-hour movie. The people behind you will be justifiably annoyed when you have to get up to go to the restroom, and it will be your own fault.

Watching the credits.
If you enjoy the movie, it's only fair that you at least pretend to watch the credits. Lots and lots of people put a lot of work into that movie, and they deserve at least that much. It's a gesture of respect. You wouldn't walk out after a play during the curtain calls, would you?

Also, you never miss anything cool that happens at the end of the credits and you get to find out if that actor was doing his own singing and whether or not the filmakers are thanking the city of San Francisco or something.

If the movie is very bad, if you are running late for something, or if it is two hours past your bedtime, you are excused. You should, however, get up and out of the way quickly and quietly so as to avoid blocking the view of the people behind you.

No movie theater should turn the lights back up until after the credits (but they all do).

The End. (Next: Sarah's Preview-Juding Criteria?)
Sarah - 11:19 PM

Oh, and also...
I saw The Movie with my father and little brother last night. (Famous good ideas when you have a headache...) My dad, who knows a thing or two about film, thinks it has a shot at Awards. Yay! Of course, he also doesn't care that Faramir was largely left out (he generally just doesn't care about Faramir), but whatever. He's a guy. I don't expect any guys to understand.

I want the Faramir shot from the credits. That would make a lovely desktop background...I am very surprised that the whole sequence is not available on the website already (it's just that ideal).
Sarah - 7:37 PM - 0 comment(s)

I have a headache.
And also it feels like my sinuses are going to explode. It's so frustrating I could cry, only I can't cry because that makes my face hurt.

Wednesday afternoon, just before we left, one of the campus ministers showed up in front of my door with the book he promised me. It's got four essays on women in ministry, two on each "side". I am very, very pleased with this book. It is recent, it is intelligent, and it is commited to being nice about the whole thing. (Because we can't be having shouting matches here. There are well-reasoned, well-supported arguments to be made on both sides and we need to at least recognize that.) I've only read the first one so far and I've been impressed with the honesty of the author—he is not afraid to admit when some of his arguments are less strong than others and he is very respectful of serious voices on both sides of the debate.

Another requirement of the volume (aside from a willingness to get along with one's "opponents"-- the understanding, I believe, being that they are not opponents, not really, they are other scholars who have come to different conclusions) is that you've got to treat the Bible as an authoritative source, which seems like the only way to have the discussion in the first place. ("Well, I believe that Paul was just wrong," may or may not be a valid point of view, but it is certainly not helpful.)

Anyway, the first conclusion I have come to is that this is waaaay too complicated for me to post all about it on my blog. If you are serious about this, you need to read about this stuff for yourself. (And I think it's a valuable pursuit for anyone, parituclarly for female Christians. There is a real tendency of just about anyone to assume that the tradition they grew up with is the right one, and that's not a good reason for anything.) The issues are very, very complicated, and it is unfair and untrue to claim that any reasonable person making a serious biblically-based investigation is necessarily going to come to just one conclusion. We (in the broadest sense of the term) are likely to end up having to agree to disagree, because is seems unlikely that a universal consensus will be reached in the foreseeable future.

There is a ton of stuff that I would like to talk about, but I need to lie down with an ice pack, so I will just leave you with some Scripture citations that are occassionally brought up by egalitarians ("egalitarian" is the term the book uses and I think it's a reasonably fair one as long as you are clear that nobody is seriously arguing that women and men are not equal in God's eyes these days). Galatians 3:28 is fairly obvious. Romans 16:7 is rather surprising (whether your version says "Junia" or "Junias", she's clearly a woman) and let's throw in a reference to Deborah (Judges 4) for good measure.

The following blinkie has absolutely nothing to do with this post (except maybe the headache part):

Sarah - 5:39 PM - 0 comment(s)

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

Sarah - 2:29 PM - 0 comment(s)

There shall be blinkies.
There shall also most likely be sprites. Of Faramir. Faramir, Faramir, Faramir...

In case you can't tell, there is not nearly enough Faramir in this movie. Salli says that how could there ever be enough Faramir for me, but that is not true, because they could include literally everything from the books and then I would have to be happy 'cause that's all there is. ;) But darn it, I have been waiting to see the wedding scene for years! We had reports on that a long, long time ago! Apparently all the women on set were in tears, it was that sweet. ;)

They did not give us our ticket stubs back. They were supposed to, and they said they would, but by the time the last of us came out of the theater (after the credits—mini-rant on movie-going etiquette to follow), they had no idea where the remaining ticket stubs even were. I was like "but how will I prove to my [purely hypothetical] kids that I did this?" And then it occurred to me that no one is going to doubt that I would do anything at all for anything related to Tolkien.

Those of you who are irritated by Orlando Bloom groupies will appreciate this: There is one moment where Legolas says something that is just incredibly obvious. (Apparently his role in this film is 1-to impersonate Luke Skywalker, 2-to look pretty, and 3-to point out the obvious for the dumber members of the audience.) He earned himself a nice, solid laugh and some rather mocking applause. My estimation for the intelligence of the audience went up greatly at that point.

I mean, there was also applause at other appropriate moments, such as when Théoden says "Rohirrim" (not true), when Shelob gets really clever (true, at least on my part), when Frodo speaks in tongues (not true), and when Andúril glitters a lot (sort of true).

I am still not in any position to do anything more coherent than report on some of my more amusing moments during the film. At one point I was deathly afraid that Shelob was not actually going to get Frodo, so I'm sitting there going (very quietly) "go get him, Shelob! go, go, you can do it, get him!". Great moments in movie-watching history.

Also, I am distracted by the fact that it is my birthday, and it is snowing. Well, okay, it stopped snowing, and it's really, really pathetic, but it's marginally better than yesterday, when it rained. (Rain, in December? WRONG! EVIL!) I want my birthday present, which, as far as I know, Salli has not wrapped yet. (Bad Salli!)

As part of my efforts to keep myself awake at the theater last night, I sang "happy birthday to me" at midnight. And then I sang "happy birthday to Erin" and "happy birthday to us", and then I just got incoherent. I also braided the mane of Heather's pony. (It was a Christmas present from one of the people we took with us.)

My age is palindromic.
Sarah - 12:25 PM - 0 comment(s)

Yawn?
I'm a bit buzzed, for reasons that should be obvious. ("Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me...")

There are Issues, of course, but there is no actual sacriledge. You can go enjoy the thing, now. (There will surely be spoilers at a later time, i.e. when it is not 4 o'clock in the morning.)

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go read about Faramir. (Oh, and sleep. That would be good.)
Sarah - 4:15 AM - 0 comment(s)

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

The only good exam...
...is an exam that is over. Or cancelled. That would be even better.

I am alive. I feel kind of weird. I'm going to lie down for an hour or something.
Sarah - 9:13 PM - 0 comment(s)

Still studying...
I hate Maxwell.



In just a few short (okay, agonizingly long) hours, I will never have to take an Electricity & Magnetism exam ever again. (Not that I get to forget any of this stuff just yet. Stupid comps.)

I haven't been this scared of an exam since quantum mechanics.
Sarah - 4:58 PM - 0 comment(s)

Monday, December 15, 2003

I'm really studying.

See?

Yesterday night ending up being pretty good, but I have an an enormous headache all day today—I think it's sinus headache coupled with a tension headache based on what I did to myself yesterday afternoon. The E&M exam looming on the horizon does not help.

I've been on the Tylenol-Advil two-hour rotation plan since 1:30. I'm pretty sure I have it right, but I wouldn't swear by it at this point. My ice pack is getting cold and my hot pack is, too. :P It's definitely time to turn off the lights and tuck myself into bed.
Sarah - 11:48 PM - 0 comment(s)

Sunday, December 14, 2003

Today is going to be a very long day.
And I am already exhausted! I did not feel well yesterday. The grueling two-hour Gospel Choir rehearsal did not help. Our beloved director is very, very, very slow, letting us digress way too much and spending way too much time on inconsequentials, except that periodically she remembers that she has somewhere to be and won't let us ask questions that are actually important.

It was end-of-semester senior lab dinner night. We had Mexican food - it was very spicy, a bit much for me, but generally very good. (Real real food!) I managed the whole thing without even feeling nauseous. I think the margaritas helped. And on the way back, it started snowing!

Last night we had a perfect December snow. It's not very cold out, so it's pleasant to be outside, and there is no ice beneath the several inches covering the sidewalks.

I have a discernment session at 1:30 (something the Episcopalians are running—very Biblically-based and introspective, lots of people there deciding majors and such), we're supposed to meet for Gospel Choir at 3:30 (I'll have to come back and dress first), the first (!) concert is at 4:00 (PRAY FOR US!!! we need miracles), then there is supposed to be pizza in between and another one at 6:00.

I still have issues with the two concert thing, but whatever. (Come on, it's the night before the first exam day, we are not going to get that many people!)

Afterwards, I think we're supposed to be going out to get Chinese or something, but I'm not sure I'll be able to handle that.

We (the Christian programming board) are running what we like to call a "mobile comfort zone" tonight. ("Comfort zones" are usually sponsored by various administrative offices and consist of people doing nice things for students during exams. They are, alas, usually in the middle of the afternoon and on the other end of campus, neither when nor where students most need them.) I am thinking that I will probably camp out at the headquarters with a book, my E&M notes, my discernment stuff, and my knitting supplies. It's from something like 10:00 to 2:00 a.m., and we need to go early to get set up.

Oh, and tomorrow afternoon I'm running an exam review session (not to mention studying for my exam, then I'm going to weaving (I have got to finish the guitar strap I am making for my brother!), which will take all night. I can't even remember if we said we were having Bible study this week. Then, Tuesday at 6:30 p.m. is my E&M exam of DOOM and DESPAIR, after which will will drive into town to catch the midnight screening, assuming that Salli's roommates gets tickets before the sell out. (It seems unlikely that they will sell out, but one never knows!)

::deep breath:: And then I get to go to sleep, and wake up Wedneday afternoon to pack to go home. They're already expecting us to help with Christmas baskets on Friday.

Sarah - 1:21 PM - 0 comment(s)

Friday, December 12, 2003

Done, done, done, done, done!
No more senior lab! Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever again! Never, never, never!

I also finished my independent study project thingie, so no more lab notebooks, either.

That would make me happy, except I went online to order books to study for The Test next semester...and it is really easy to find SAT II books (though there is much debate concerning which is the best), but the only decent Physics GRE book (according to all the people who are commenting on Amazon) is the ETS book, which is out of print and not available used. They tell us that the test we are taking is somewhere between the two in difficulty, so I need books for both.

So, after the E&M exam on Tuesday, the only thing I will have to worry about is to get cracking on this studying thing, but that doesn't have to be too intense over break. The next few days, however, will be very, very, very intense and busy.

I would feel much better if I could get my hands on that book!!!
Sarah - 4:15 PM - 0 comment(s)

Thursday, December 11, 2003

Death, Doom, and Despair...
Senior lab = root of all evil!!!!

This is supposed to be an easy lab. :P

Not only is it not easy, but it is also Not Working. Our results are so ridiculously bad that we are starting over. At the last possible minute.

I have choir in town from around 7 to 9. (My lab partners are going to get the data-taking going during that period.) After that, Gospel Choir has a tech week (read: the choral equivalent of cramming for exams) rehearsal from 8-10 (wait, I meant to say during that), and afterwards I get to go back over to the physics building to process data. Oh, and write it up. Such joy.

This is after we discussed the exam in E&M (I am going to have to study really, really hard) and, of course, we spent the entire afternoon entering and re-entering and processing and reprocessing numbers of the computer. I am tired already.

The paper is being a pain, but I don't have any spare time to work on it today, and tomorrow is not looking so good, either. :\
Sarah - 4:52 PM - 0 comment(s)

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

::yawn::
I have been thinking about theology so much today that my head hurts. (Theology is hard.) It seems like I would really enjoy seminary, though—at least this stuff really interests me! I have books. I have been promised more books. I'm feeling more and more that seminary ought to be in the game plan. (Note: Lutherans go to seminary for all sorts of things. It's not pastor school.)

I have paperwork. The biggest trauma for this first hoop seems like it will be trying to figure out the date of my baptism. I have a love-hate relationship with forms.

I get to be psychologically evaluated. I predict that the evaluators will need psychiatric help in the end. (I don't do well with personality tests. They are apparently really expensive ones, too, which makes me think they will be really hideous. Ever the optimist.)

I can't write about theology right now. I just can't. My head would probably explode or something. (Oooh....accidentally hit the wrong favorites link in the other window and it was the ELCA division for ministry page...scary...)

So I will post this doll, because I like it, even though the face does not look at all like me:

The rest of the details are accurate, though, except that's not what I wore at the jury. (It went okay, by the way. I appear to have passed.) I would give you a link to the base, but she doesn't have a site anymore. :( I like the guitar - it looks quite a lot like mine (as it well should, after all the work I put into it).

The previously posted blinkie, by the way, contains a line from Galadriel' "Namárië" poem-song from Fellowship. The translation is given as somethng like "Who then shall refill this cup for me?" It's a very sad song.
Sarah - 12:10 AM - 0 comment(s)

Monday, December 08, 2003

About to go talk to my pastor.
Not entirely sure what about. I just thought that maybe I should arrange for something official ASAP so that I wouldn't just let it slide, and let it slide, and let it slide...

Running late, need to read over some stuff very quickly...

Random blinkie:

Sarah - 12:34 PM - 0 comment(s)

Friday, December 05, 2003

It's SNOWING!
And, though it is still wet, it is starting to stick!

I love snow. I love how a fresh covering of snow makes everything seem clean and new.

They moved up my jury time so that I can make it to the senior class dinner at 5:30. (I have to be there by 4:55 and they will sneak me in between a couple of other people. It's toward the beginning, so they won't have had time to get too far behind!)

The other class dinners are nothing to write home about (the food is a bit better than usual but you can never hear the boring speakers), but the senior dinner is popular because of the free wine, apparently. I don't like wine. (Maybe I will like this kind! It's always possible!) At McGill, they had wine (and often beer) at most major functions, but here it's only the seniors who are all legal.

SNOW, SNOW, SNOW, SNOW, SNOW!!!! Did I mention I love snow?
Sarah - 2:02 PM - 0 comment(s)

Matthew is inconclusive.
(Hmm, I really need to think of something less deep for my next post.)

Most of the "evidence" to be found in the book of Matthew is circumstantial at best. A primary fact that one can't escape is that all of the twelve original disciplies are men—however, I don't think we can really deduce anything useful from that (in either direction). The truth is, if there were women with them from the starts, one can imagine what people would have said. It would have destroyed all credibility. Women, in that culture, were not credible witnesses.

Of course, later on we have the great irony that the first witnesses to the resurrection are women. (They're there at the cross, too. The writer makes a special point of mentioning them. He does not mention what the eleven are up to at that point.) The irony is that they would surely have been thought of as foolish women, which means that today, looking back, it seems absurd that anyone would have included them if the story were mere invention. (If you wanted to create a story plausible to the people of the time, the first witnesses would have to be men.) It's one of the points you can raise to counter the "it was all a story that the disciples made up" argument. (No, I didn't come up with this on my own.)

I think it is very interesting that the very first people to preach the Gospel message were women. All evidence so far seems to suggest that it is in fact right (and perhaps even necessary) for women to be proclaiming the "Good News".

Still, Matthew is inconclusive. In this book, Jesus does speak to certain women's issues (the kind of marriage he talks about sounds like a partnership—it's not okay for men to just divorce their wives, he says, which seems to indicate that you can't treat your wife like she's baggage), but I'm not sure that any of them are relevant to the issue at hand. Clearly, his message and ministry are for both men and women, but that won't surprise anyone today.

Next on agenda: Mark! (But only after my guitar lesson, and my guitar jury, and missing the senior class dinner because of the aforementioned guitar jury...::sniff::)

By the way, at our fall retreat, the speaker (a male professor at a fairly conservative Christian school) had some interesting things to say about the Corinthians passage that says that women should not speak in church. (First of all, I think that passage gets abused.) That will have to be a post in and of itself, though. (And when I'm not about to go to my guitar lesson.)
Sarah - 10:46 AM - 0 comment(s)

Thursday, December 04, 2003

There shall be research.
(Which, you know, is just exactly like what I just did the other day looking for descriptions of Galadriel's hair color. I do this with Tolkien stuff all the time. Is God good at planning ahead, or what?)

I am starting with the book of Matthew. I am going through and copying over every reference to anyone female that I can find. I'm trying to see what kind of picture develops. I could easily look it up online somewhere, I'm sure, but I would rather not rely on someone else's interpretation. I need to make my understanding my own, because this is not an issue I am ever going to be able to stay out of.

A primarily purpose of Lutheran pastors is to witness to the risen Christ. We have very good reason to believe that women can do that. ;) (I mean, seriously, after all that, God surely got just the people he wanted to be the first witnesses!) I don't think anyone who functioned like a modern pastor even existed when the New Testament was written—I wonder if part of the debate has to do with differences of opinion about what a pastor really is? (I'm just thinking "out loud" here.) I don't know.

But anyway, I'm doing research. (And I'm getting it at the source.) I am inclined to think that the Gospels have greater authority since they concern what Jesus actually said and did. However, there are many different schools of thought on Biblical interpretation and only know a touch of the surface of the subject.

One thing they said to us during staff training that Salli keeps telling me is this: Did God stop working after the New Testament stopped being written? Well, no. Is it not then possible that some things that have happened sense have been accordance with God's will? Well, we certainly hope so! We have to examine what we come up with in the light of the Gospel, though. We can't just take whatever we like and say that it is clearly God's will, but new interpretations are at least worth investigating. Because God is working here and now.

Warning: There is going to be much boring self-searching and uninformed theological rambling. Because discernment is hard, and my pastor isn't reading this, so I don't have to try to make it make sense. ;)

Thank you, Eri and Jeni, for bringing this up. You didn't upset me, even—your intentions somehow managed to come across, whether you think they did or not. ;)
Sarah - 10:33 PM - 0 comment(s)

Sarali and I are about to make a confession.
Well, actually, Sarali is just going to sit there and look pretty for moral support. (She isn't much help.)

I am not entirely sure why this is so difficult, but it's not just me. (I know someone in a similar situation who says she finds is easier to refer in conversation to her girlfriend.) The other thing I have learned from experience is that no one thinks this is as earth-shattering as it seems to me. :P

*ahem*

The point of linking to Lutheran Theological Southern Seminary rather surreptitiously a few posts back was not to brainwash you South Carolinians into becoming Lutheran, but rather to sort of get your minds moving in that direction because I'm thinking of becoming a pastor.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! It is really, really hard to say that. No, I do not KNOW, no, I do not think I am good enough, and no, I most certainly do not have any idea what I am doing. :P I've sort of had this thing bugging me since last summer. I am becoming increasingly convinced that there is a call—the question is, to what? Discernment is difficult and painful. Especially if you are me and you second-guess everything.

You are not allowed to make comments about the relevancy of a physics degree.

I need support, I need prayers, and I need honest opinions (it says so in the book). I can't always make judgement calls for myself because I have this amazing ability to twist anything into an impossible mess.

But you know what? I did talk to my pastor here the week before break, and I've talked to my parents a little, and the funny thing is that this week, now that I am back at school, I am much happier. (Everything is fun!) I smile a lot more. It's like this huge weight is gone, now that I'm seriously pursuing this. I still don't know what that call I mentioned is all about, but I know it's really there, and I think I'm doing the right thing in investigating it—they say that one way to judge a decision is to see if you are at peace about it afterwards. And most of the time, I am.

Please tell me you don't think this is ridiculous. I live in terror that somebody is going to tell me, "you? Are you out of your mind?" And that, I think, is why it has taken me five months to get to this. :P
Sarah - 4:13 PM - 0 comment(s)

It's happening again.
Every now and then I go on a Tsinali kick, which has the tendency to become extremely obsessive. (It has something to do with the fact that this is the culture that goes with my second major language endeavor.)

I started doing portraits just so I could have one for the navigation of my fantasy-themed dolls page. It quickly reverted to yet another study in Tsinali face-markings and costuming.

The young lady in yellow (none of them have names yet) is a falsaka, a fighter in the Tsinali tradition. This is why she has short hair. Not much to say about this one.

The dark blue (I'm skipping one) is a young dancer (metsaka). She has just gone through the ceremony where she obtained her profession-markings, which is why she is not wearing any jewelry. (These people love jewelry.) The idea is to emphasize the profession-markings she has just earned. (Note that the blouse is still decorated. Somehow that doesn't count. Tsina decorate everything.)

The last one, in the light blue-green, is a writer of sorts. They do not, of course, have professional writers in the sense that we do. (The Tsinali term for the profession is lameka in the feminine form.) Lamekana (or lamegana—they can be male or female, but unfortunately in this case there is no gender-neutral term) are important in their marginally literate society for their ability to keep records and such, but they are not primarily clerks or historians. They are responsible, typically, for things like composing poetry for special occasions, such as the birth of a child. (The arts are very, very important in this culture.) I suspect that they also serve as teachers (everyone needs to know at least how to read and write his own name!).

Because your average Tsinali clan is constantly travelling, the lamekana have acquired a secondary role over the years. They serve as a sort of unofficial postal service, particularly between small towns and villages. (There is an official courier service, but it can be slow and it's really only reliable for getting things to large towns and cities.)

It may take a while, but if you send something by way of a Tsinali lameka, you can be confident that it will reach the proper destination, even if that destination is a village too small for the regular couriers to stop at or even an isolated farm. Since they are literate, they can write down directions and addresses, but they write in their own language and generally don't learn the more standard writing systems in general use, so you know that they won't go prying into your mail (because they can't read it). Of course, you never know just when a Tsinali clan is going to be in your area, but if one just happens to be nearby and you just happen to have a message or small package to send, they are an utterly reliable way of getting it where it needs to go.
Sarah - 11:14 AM - 0 comment(s)

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

It's kind of hard to see on a white background.
Actually, it's kind of hard to see on a dark background, too. (Yay, trying to shade something white!)

Lorani requested Galadriel. I did not set out to be difficult, really I didn't, but I was researching and this is the moment that really stuck itself in my head. The tengwar text reads "Altariel Alqualondessë", which means (I hope) "Galadriel at Alqualondë".

Galadriel's role in the events of the First Age and the Exile of the Noldor shifted often. In the very last version, written shortly before Tolkien's death, the idea is that she was already looking to sail east to Middle-Earth because, in short (Tolkien makes this sound noble), she had learned all she could and was looking for new challenges, new things to discover. This is why she was with the Teleri at Alqualondë (where, in this version, she met Celeborn—in LotR and the Sil he is a Sindarin Elf, but in the later revisions he becomes Telerin, which I like because it makes him more of an equal). She and Celeborn manage to save their ship, but they then sail off without permission, which causes them to fall under the same category as the rest of the Exiles. Anyway, that's clearly the version illustrated here, because in previous versions Galadriel was a leader of the mass exodus, and surely she wouldn't wear a white gown to go to war?

Uhm, right. If you don't know the story, what happens at Alqualondë is that the Noldor want to sail east, and they expect the Teleri to want to help them, but they don't, so the hosts of Noldor (all geared up for war) take the ships of the Teleri by force. It's basically a bloodbath. (There is some indication that some of the Noldor fought against this. Galadriel was certainly one of them.)

The hair was a challenge. Moreso even than all the white fabric. It's supposed to be as if the light of the Two Trees were caught and intermingled (gold touched with silver-white), which is only slightly intimidating to even try. It's possible that Galadriel's hair inspired Feanor to create the Silmarils, it was that remarkable. That makes this particular subject matter an image of the glory of the Eldar, forever marred. (Okay, it was an ambitious atempt.) And people think that Tolkien's Elves are supposed to be all perfection and goodness and light...



Edit: Guitar juries are Friday! Ahhhhhhh!
Sarah - 10:56 AM - 0 comment(s)

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