Tomato Soup

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Friday, February 28, 2003

"Thank you. Your data has been submitted."
I just sent in an application for the Research Experience for Undergraduates program at the University of Washington (why yes, it is in Washington state). I can't believe I just did that.

They have a graduate program in something that they call "physics education research". How cool is that? Leave it to a bunch of physicists to do research into how students learn physics. Still, I'd never even heard of this field until a couple of days ago. It was Wednedsay night, actually, after eleven o'clock. Was this the "freight train"? I have no idea! I don't know what my chances of being accepted are or how much competition I will have. I don't know what I will be assigned to even if I am accepted. I don't know if I might find something I like better.

This is all happening so quickly! 48 hours ago I had no inkling of any of this, and now I've gotten the registrar to express mail my transcript, gotten at least one recommendation faxed, and sent in an application online.

But it does look like I'm not going back to camp this summer. :( Sad.
Sarah - 3:16 PM - 0 comment(s)

Thursday, February 27, 2003

This is George.
Everyone say hello to George. ("Hi, George!")

Why is her name "George"? Why is she dressed like that? Is that dress really as short as it looks? If you want to know, you'll have to ask me. I've stopped volunteering information (because Salli thinks I'm weird).

(And if you think George looks funny, you should see the chick with the rainbow hair!)

No, she is not from the Forest. Yes, I am surely insane. And I know that I'm weird. This is not unusual for me.

In other news, I hate February! It's so ridiculously short! It gets me every time! I'm like "hey, I'm doing pretty good", and then wham! It's the end of the month already! What happened? Where did the days go?

February is surely obsolete by now. Why don't we just snitch a couple of days from two 31-day months and make up the difference? January and March would never notice.
Sarah - 5:01 PM - 0 comment(s)

Coffee...mmmmm...
It's cold outside. But not nearly as cold as it has been! And sunny! Wow! Beautiful!

So I'm walking down toward Queen Mary to look for a copy shop (to send a fax), and suddenly I realize that my bra has come unhooked. I hate that! ARGH! (Even though nobody can possibly tell the difference under all those layers...) So annoying.

As for why I was faxing a transcript request this afternoon...well, let's just say that last night was Eventful. :P
Sarah - 3:07 PM - 0 comment(s)

Wednesday, February 26, 2003

I like pepperoni!
Sadly, the only pepperoni they had at Provigo (the nearest one, which is really kind of dinky, but they still have a better cheese selection than Metro) was this enormous package of very mild-tasting pepperoni. So now I have a whole bunch of it. And it's okay, but not exactly packed full of yummy pepperoni flavor.

Yesterday afternoon, I was going so stir-crazy that I figured I just had to get up and go somewhere. So I decided to go to the store to get something to make for dinner. Only I had no idea what to get! So I talked to Salli, and after much puzzling, she suggested that I make English muffin pizzas.

Yum! The only thing that was difficult to find was the pepperoni. I now have a huge bag of shredded cheese (cheddar-mozarella-parmesan! Metro doesn't even have shredded cheddar), a lifetime supply of bland pepperoni, a jar of spaghetti sauce, and some English muffins. Delicious!

For some reason, I'm always hungry here. I don't understand it. Surely I am eating much better than I did out of the dining hall! Maybe it's just that I am using up a lot more energy—I figure that I burn fat just standing outside in the cold. Anyway, I just ate half an hour ago, and I'm hungry again, which is why this entire post is about FOOD.

I could go get some cereal. Or raisin toast with peanut butter. Or just eat plain cheese...or plain pepperoni...or I could just make tea.

Ah! It's almost eight o'clock! Time to practice my guitar! YES! (I do so love my guitar!)
Sarah - 7:56 PM - 0 comment(s)

This is just my luck.
I adopted a new pet today. My first Korbat. His name is "Krebain". (Which, incidentally, is plural and makes no sense. But hey, at least it looks like a real name! I refuse to have a pet without a real name.)

I could pretend that I was doing this for purely charitable reasons...but actually it's because I want to play with the lab ray (I like the fun surprises!) and I don't want to do it with any of my "regular" pets!

So then I go and run him through the lab ray (because my last foster-pet, Ritokie, turned into a Christmas Zafara yesterday but didn't go up for adoption until this morning). You know, just because. AND HE CHANGES COLOR!!!

Now he's a mutant. Which is actually pretty cool. But I just put a pet up for adoption! I'm not doing it again!

Tomorrow. I'll do it tomorrow. Sure.


Sarah - 11:29 AM - 0 comment(s)

Tuesday, February 25, 2003

No more angst!!!
If I want angst, I'll watch Buffy.

So I finally decided enough was enough and broke down and emailed my advisor. We shall see what he says. (We shall see if he can make any sense of what I said. I sometimes get the feeling that he thinks I'm a bit odd.)

I should never, ever try to write seriously late at night. Especially not after midnight. (And it was after midnight last night, no matter what the timestamp says.) I get all depressed and serious and philosophical and it's not good!
Sarah - 12:41 PM - 0 comment(s)

Monday, February 24, 2003

Yeeeearrrrrggghhhh!
If you are just looking to be amused, then there you go. I made a funny noise and posted my current signature sticker. You can go home now.

Because I intend to get philosophical and serious and deep and stuff.

First, a bit of background, because otherwise this won't make any sense: I basically have two big obvious options for this summer. They are:

1. Work at daycamp again. I know that my experience is needed. I love camp. Yay, camp! It makes me happy! It makes me less stressed! Yay!
2. Do something physics-related. Like, say, something research-related. Because it seems to be The Thing To Do. Especially if one wants to go to grad school. Which I might. I just don't know. Maybe I should try it so I can find out before I commit myself to, say, grad school or a job.

Now, I know what I want to do. I want to work at camp again, darn it! My past experiences have been extraordinary, and I know that in a summer at camp, I grow more as a Christian, a human being, and yes, even a physics student, than I ever would doing some boring lab work.

But that's just it. How do I know it would be boring? Maybe I could find something cool. The idea doesn't really excite me, however. And I'm sure that it could be incredibly awesome and fantastic. (This goes back to my realization right before my first summer of camp: that with God, even a "boring" job at McDonald's could be extraordinary!)

And do I really want to do the camp thing because that's what I feel that God wants me to do? Is it for them—the other staff, the campers, the churches, the communities—or is it for me?

So anyway, God and I have been having a lot of chat time about this. Which pretty much consists of me saying "uhm...God, help?" and then plugging my fingers into my ears like a three-year-old. It's not that I don't try to listen, but for me, let's just say that the "still, small voice" approach tends not to work. I tend to require more of the "enormous freight train" method. And I over-analyze. Now, I'm convinced that on good days, over-analysis is probably supposed to be one of my gifts, but sometimes I wish I could just stop thinking, darn it!

So then I have these little "aha!" moments where I think I'm getting somewhere...and then I realize that I have no idea what I'm getting! :P This is fairly typical of me.

Like the other day when I realized that I wasn't really enjoying my one physics class. And that's not cool. I just don't really care about the tedious nuts-and-bolts stuff. I can't imagine myself, say, working all summer trying to figure out how to test a very specialized thermometer (actual summer experience of one of my classmates). I would die of boredom. What would be the point?

But I do enjoy the programming course I'm taking, and most of the time I like acoustics. Especially when we talk about something that relates to...say, bells. I really like bells! It made me so happy to find out that I could do my research project on church bells! Yay!

So anyway, it is perhaps clear from the digression that the particular "aha!" moment in question did not actually resolve anything at all.

And then I was reading Mir's blog, and I was like, "Yeah! God rocks!" And I was all pumped and feeling very Lutheran. (Justification by faith is so my thing!) I was oddly reminded of a certain camp song which I'm sure Salli and Kat would recognize (I bet Salli already knows what I mean, but if not, think "dishes"). And then I was like "uh-oh, you know what, I don't really have to spend my summer working at church camp for God to be okay with me". Gah! I don't want God to be okay with whatever I do! I want him to prefer one thing, and to tell me what it is!

But that's not how it works (which is good, because otherwise I'd be screwed). See, another big "thing" of mine, something that came out of the soul-searching that led to my fist camp job and me choosing to be a physics major, is that there is no one right choice that is a part of God's plan and no one wrong choice that is not. There never is. How can there be? Though the choice is definitely mine to make, God already knows what I'm going to choose. Because he's already there, waiting for me (just like he's here, trying to help me through it despite my attempts to resist). So whatever I do, God will be there, and he will use my choice, and he will use me wherever I end up going. Which doesn't mean that one choice might not be better for my health, my academic career, or my sanity! But either way, it will ultimately be Okay (with a capital "O").

Oooh, my health. That's a good one. Maybe I need to not do some stressful internship because it would be bad for my health, and I need to relax...I can relax at camp! Unless I end up as a driver (inevitable) or a team coordinator (possible - STRESS CITY!!!), in which case, camp would be stressful, too. The one week I was a coordinator last summer was the most difficult thing I have ever done. Ever. Including quantum mechanics and electronics lab.

You see what I'm dealing with, here? Aaaah! I'm impossible! :( And I still want to make the right choice. Which means that (a) I want there to be a "right choice" and (b) I want to know that I am making it. Probably neither of these things will happen.

::sigh:: And why am I stressing about this stuff during my BREAK? ARGH!
Sarah - 11:55 PM - 0 comment(s)

Blah!
That pretty much sums up today.

I'm tense and I don't particularly want to do particularly anything and I feel like I have an enormous wad of guilt wrapped around my stomach. I would think that I skipped my meds today, but apparently I didn't, because there is one less in the bottle than there was yesterday (1 - 1 = 0).

I don't know what my problem is. I have all week! All I need to do is my programming assignment (heh, "all", I say—but I've already started looking at it!) and a three-page summary of my intentions for my acoustics paper.

That last one has me a bit scared. Because I think it's going to involve getting a book out of the library. I love libraries. But the funny thing is, I've never actually done anything at the library at my home school other than go to class in a difficult-to-find room, use the AV room for film class, or use the scanners for...whatever. I don't know what to do. Especially here, at a great big school with more than one library. I think that what I want is in the music library—wherever that is!

And I need to keep doing my ez-work, of course, but I am actually not behind for once. I do need to sit down and add up my hours and see where I stand, but that's no big deal!

What is my problem? ARGGGGHH! I couldn't sleep all weekend, either! What is wrong with me? I should be resting, darn it!
Sarah - 5:48 PM - 0 comment(s)

Sunday, February 23, 2003

I like my mittens!
They're all warm and cozy and red and fuzzy!

I decided, for no apparent reason, to make a picture of...me. After walking through the snow. I figured, hey, I'm so bundled up, what's to recognize? (Not that my pictures are that recognizable anyway!) Still, it's more representative than my earlier online self-portraits.

I love how the scarf came out. I love that scarf! And the hat, and the mittens...and the wet jeans. :P I hate that! They clear the sidewalks and the streets, but a huge pile of snow develops between the two, so whenever you have to cross, you have to get through it somehow.

I used to have a hat that matched the mittens perfectly (the same color and the same yarn), but I left it in the theater where we went to see The Two Towers on opening day. (In my defense, it was about 3 o'clock in the morning...) Still, very sad. :( But I'm getting more yarn, and I will make a new one! (If I ever actually get my hands on the yarn, that is...)
Sarah - 4:15 PM - 0 comment(s)

‘We have never seen anything like this!’ (Mark 2:12)
It snowed! It is still snowing! There is lots and lots and lots of snow!

There was hardly anyone at church this morning. We all fit up front around the altar at once during communion. It's funny—you don't realize the weather is that bad when you don't have to drive in it! Still, it is a lot of work to walk through snow, especially when the little sidewalk snow plows haven't made it through yet. (They look so funny next to the big snow plows.)
Sarah - 1:56 PM - 0 comment(s)

Saturday, February 22, 2003

Yikes! Another one!
Yet another picture that will make no sense unless you are from the Forest. I don't know why I am posting this here and not at the Forest. It makes no sense.

When the Eshil Loyhalel were originally sent forth, none of them could quite figure out why Rytasé came with them. She wasn't as powerful as they were, she didn't seem to have any particular domain, and she was always asking them questions!

Strangely enough, almost from the very beginning, Rytasé has had a small but intensely loyal group of followers. Her priests are scholars and above all information-gatherers. No question is too small or to large to be answered—and if anyone has the answer, the Rytasens do. They are most often librarians, archivists, and researchers. Rytasen libraries are without rival.

Although she is possibly the least powerful of the Eshil Loyhalel (in inherent magic or whatever one wishes to call it), Rytasé is unique among her cousins. Her priests often appear to be almost foolishly unconcerned with their own well-being because no one will knowingly attack a Rytasen priest. (They also have a certain amount of immunity to harmful magic.)

There is a story that once, a Rytasen priestess was observing a war. She was taken hostage by the opposing side (she had been observing from the side of the rebels) and they of course decided to bring her out to parade her in front of their opponents. Right at that moment, when the king and his rival were facing off, Rytasé herself showed up and gave them both such a tongue-lashing that their familes were sworn allies for centuries for fear of displeasing her. This is typical behavior.

Yes, she is supposed to be barefoot. And yes, she is supposed to look irritable.

In other news, I got this little bottle of "pesto" seasoning. It contains basil and garlic, mostly. I've been putting it on my soup. I like to think that it makes the whole experience more like "cooking", but actually I just like the added bit of green.

Sarah - 7:07 PM - 0 comment(s)

I want this outfit.
If you are from the Forest and are reading this, then you're getting a sneak preview. If you are not from the Forest, then you will just be confused. (But the outfit is still awesome!)

Her name is "Sasheylal", but she is usually referred to as "Lady Luck". She's the Eshilés Loyhalé (if you aren't familiar with our world, you can roughly translate that as "goddess") of, well, luck.

Actually, to be technically accurate, Sasheylal is just a persona (personality, manifestation) of Ral, the Eshil Loyhale of Chance. Ral has multiple personalities. Literally. Just like a human being having multiple personalties, but since Ral is a deity and all, the personalities have their own unique powers and appearances. (Some of them are male and some are female. Ral is neither androgynous nor asexual, but rather either male or female, depending on which persona is manifesting.)

But nobody knows that, except perhaps the Rytasens. So the world regards Sasheylal as a separate entity. (Of course, if you call on Sasheylal, and get an answer, you could theoretically get an answer from any of Ral's personalities, which just adds to the perceived randomness of her behavior.)

Anyway, most of Lady Luck's followers are thieves and gamblers, as might be expected. They depend upon her graces but are seldom so foolish as to trust her. They may attempt to win her favor, but she is notoriously fickle and bestows her favors based on whim. She is not associated with bad luck: if a person is unlucky, it is either the result of the absense of good luck (which is somehow different) or else someone else's good luck.

Reports of her appearance vary, but in art she is always shown either holding a blindfold over her eyes or else covering her eyes with one hand. There's no blind justice here—Sasheylal represents deliberate, wilful randomness rather than blind choice.

She probably stole the necklace. She's like that. (But don't tell that to most of her thieving followers, who tend to view her as the perfect ice queen on a pedastal.)

And I still want that outfit!

Sarah - 1:14 PM - 0 comment(s)

Friday, February 21, 2003

They call it "reading break", not "spring break".
Because it wouldn't just be overly optimistic to refer to "spring"—it would be laughable. Spring doesn't come until at least May.

And I'm stuck here.

Don't get me wrong: I like Montreal. I love my apartment! It is absolutely fantastic to live in a place with high ceilings, a kitchen, and plenty of space. (Anyone who saw my cozy little den last semester will understand.) It is even better to live in a building that is quiet.

But I want to go home.

Not for good. I do like it here. But just for a day or two, it would be nice to be surrounded by people who know my name. People who give me hugs and ask how I am doing. I want to sing camp songs or at least upbeat church songs, darn it! I miss EEP! and my various choirs.

I love the student group at my church here, but the organist drives me crazy. Her style is quite suitable for good old German hymns. She like to add little flourishes at every available opening. When she attempts to play an old spiritual, I want to scream and pull out my hair. I can't even follow her on the liturgy, which I have literally sung at churches all over Ohio (not to mention knowing it all by heart having grown up singing it).

I want to sing (with other people), I want a hug, and I want to spend a day with people who don't use "American" like it's a dirty word.
Sarah - 1:58 PM - 0 comment(s)

"'Y'all' is properly used only when addressing two or more people."

I have just wasted an inordinate amount of time reading a site on Common Errors in English. See especially the entries for sci-fi and UFO. (Then check it out for yourself and see if your own favorites are listed!)

I don't pretend to write proper English these days. When I first started working for ezboard, I forced myself to shelve my AP English sensitivities in order to avoid sounding pretentious. Since then, I've been slipping. I like starting sentences with "but" or "and" and I very much enjoy sentence fragments. (It troubles me, however, that I am beginning to have difficulty distinguishing between "who" and "whom".)

Anyway, there is one point where I disagree with this site. The author persists in insisting on "Internet" and "World Wide Web" and "Web site". The capitalization (except, perhaps, for the full name "World Wide Web") is quite unnecessary these days. In fact, it begins to seem rather ridiculous. My linguistics-student roomate tells me that the intonation for "website" is that of a two-syllable word, not two one-syllable words strung together ("web site"). But "web site" is fine—on its way out, but fine—it's "Web site" that really gets me.

If you say "Web site", you are declaring one of two things:

1. You have no idea what you are talking about, since you clearly had to look up how to spell "website".
2. You've been around long enough to remember when the "World Wide Web" was new, and people actually still wrote "Internet".

If you belong to the latter category, good for you, and I'm sure you are much wiser and more experienced than me. But seriously, now. Words like "internet", "email", and "website" are ubiquitous these days.

A "Web site" looks either pretentious or chronically uncool.
Sarah - 12:14 AM - 0 comment(s)

Thursday, February 20, 2003

It's better, now.
But I'm sure I'm not done. I will surely add more links along the side. And stuff.

That's an underappreciated expression: "and stuff". It says so much! "Stuff" is a remarkably good word. Sometimes it is what you really mean. It just sounds right, and somehow feels right in your mouth when you say it. But no, we are taught that we cannot use words like "stuff" in "serious" writing. This, I think, is probably okay for fourteen-year-olds (who need to be discouraged from thinking that u can get away with nething), but by the time one is in college or university, one ought to be permitted to say "and stuff" without people looking down their noses.
Sarah - 6:42 PM - 0 comment(s)

Salli used a run-on sentence.
But it's okay because it's non-allergenic.

Salli's run-through of her Thursday schedule has inspired me to post my schedule for today. Please note that I am making up the times as I go along.

Sarah's Thursday Schedule
7:00 a.m.: Alarm goes off. Being evil, it tries to take over the world, but fails because the cord is too short and the battery is dead.
7:00:42: Sarah remembers her physics midterm is today and gets up.
7:02: Sarah makes coffee.
7:05: Sarah sits in front of her computer and writes down equations for getting Fourier coefficients (which turn out not to be on the exam).
7:42: Sarah gets dressed, makes a sandwich, and toasts some bread (for peanut buttering).
7:52: Sarah leaves to walk to the metro station. It's very warm outside—almost freezing!
8:03: First train arrives. Yay! Sarah crowds on (standing room only) and stands there going over her physics notes.
8:12: Next stop. Time to change trains. Wait, wait, wait. Then some more crowding onto a crowded train, and more physics notes.
8:31: Class doesn't start until 8:35, officially, but the professor has already started the exam. Go figure.
9:17: Sarah finishes the exam and wonders what she did wrong, since no one else seems to be done yet.
9:28: After one other student finishes, Sarah gives up waiting and leaves.
9:35: Computer! Forest!
10:17: The professor for Sarah's 10:05 computer science class shows up and begins talking about the dictionary ADT. Though a very cool topic, this is lost on Sarah because darn it, she just finished her physics exam!
11:56: No, that was not Sarah sitting in front of one of the lab computers with a sandwich and hot chocolate. Sarah would not do that! It must have been someone else.
12:15: Sarah goes to the health center and refuse to leave until she gets her prescription. Fortunately, there aren't too many people there and she gets in. (No one seems to notice that she is prepared to go down fighting if necessary.)
1:30: Hey, the bookstore is near the health center! What a great chance to go buy pen refills and white chocolate (mmm, Cadbury's)!
2:25: Sarah sees that Salli has written her schedule for the day in her blog. Sarah is not impressed. Sarah's schedule is busier!
2:35: More class. Sarah is booooooored, having just finished writing an exam on waves in pipes.
4:12: Sarah finally escapes and heads for the metro.
4:56: Sarah gets home, turns on her computer, pulls a Vanilla Coke out of her fridge, and makes this post! Yay!

And I need to redo the template for this page. I adore the colors and the starry background, of course, but the pink at the top could stand to go, and I want to add more links for my own convenience.
Sarah - 5:01 PM - 0 comment(s)

Wednesday, February 19, 2003

Brought to you by Sarah's Differential Equations midterm.
It was easy. Well, fairly easy. Lots of calculus, which is never a good thing.

And I have a physics midterm tomorrow. And I don't care. The material is not difficult, but there are a lot of little simple equations that I have to keep straight (read: memorize). That's just wrong. You shouldn't have to memorize equations for physics! It's not worth it! In real life, you would always just look them up, to make sure they are correct. And I should really be going over all the little equations and writing them down so that I can start to memorize them. BUT I'M NOT! Because I don't care. This is a problem. (But I don't care.)

What I want is to practice my guitar. It's almost time!

Sarah - 7:53 PM - 0 comment(s)

I like cous-cous.
I also like Vanilla Coke, white chocolate, and Cadbury's Cream Eggs.

I used to always have this problem when I was starting a diary: I would try to explain things before I really started. I thought it only make sense that I explain who all the people were if I was going to refer to them. The trouble was that I never actually got past the boring beginning part and into the less boring journaling part.

So I made myself a rule: No explanations. I might explain some things as I went along, but only very briefly (in parentheses, for example). I would assume that the (purely hypothetical) reader knew what I was talking about. After all, really I was writing for me, and I knew what I was talking about (mostly)!

You have been warned.
Sarah - 6:46 PM - 0 comment(s)

This blog is like tomato soup.
You can make tomato soup from scratch (who knows how?), but it's easier to get it from a can. I actually prefer the canned variety. It's warm and comforting and reminds me oddly of grilled cheese.

You can, of course, make it more than one way: if you are feeling really lazy, just add water and toss it in the microwave. (But not literally. That would make a mess.) If you have a little more time to spare, use milk instead, and cook it on the stuff. This enables you to feel productive while at the same time essentially wasting time. You're cooking (technically). You're making something that is good for you. It's like procrastination only without the guilt.

Of course, the other thing about tomato soup is that you don't necessarily want to admit how often you eat it! It's the standby, the fall-back, the one thing that's guaranteed to be quick and easy and (mostly) filling.

And now I've gone and made myself hungry. Excuse me while I go and get some peanut butter.
Sarah - 10:05 AM - 0 comment(s)

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Archive (leftovers)

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